Perm Wars

From what I can gather at beauty school, the cosmetology student's most dreaded enemy is the "perm".  When one is scheduled, which seems to be about 2 a day on average, students duck and cover and pray that they won't be drafted into duty.  Sickness attacks some, others bite their tongue and soldier on, but one thing is for sure, nobody likes to do them.  I will say that the system is unfair.  Those who don't cry and complain about them get stuck doing the majority of them.  Quite literally, perms stink...  My perspective is that I want get as fast as possible at perms so that if we decide to do them at our salon it will no doubt be a profitable endeavor!  Yes I am going to school for the adventure but I am 100% committed to running a highly profitable salon or chain of salons.

I am remembering an episode of 21 jump street where Johnny Depp's character's wife or fiancee gets killed in a party store robbery or something and he spends like 3 weeks locked up in his apt figuring out all the things he can do in 7 seconds (my memory is hazy so some facts could be extremely screwed up), because that's how long he had to stop the robber but he didn't.  Like ie. he could take all the pepperoni off a large pizza.  It was a heart wrenching episode...  Are those out on DVD??  Man that was a good show.

21 Jump........Street! 

I am sure you are wondering why I am making obscure references to early 90's TV and how I could possibly be relating myself to Johnny Depp considering the size of my nose and ears and my unstriking facial features as a whole...  It relates to perms.  20 minutes.  That's the amount of time that is considered an excellent time to roll a whole head of perm rods.  So this week my fellow student "Carol" and I began competing to see who could roll the fastest.  In the beginning, I stunk like a cheap perm!  Carol has been killing me in most practical aspects of cosmetology, not that its a competition.....  But any of you who know me know that even though its not a competition,,,,, I still like to be first!!!  If we were looking at this like a boxing match Carol would be the winner on the tale of the tape.  She has years of experience, she has had long hair her whole life to fool around with, and she is a girl.  Not that being a girl is a big deal, it just means that she has been doing girly stuff her whole life while I am relatively new to it!  So I started my training...  Cue the "Eye of the Tiger" music...  Started working on my rolling skills..doing fingertip push ups...braiding small children's hair while waiting in line at the grocery store..

"YOU GOTTA WANT IT ROCK!!"

Saturday was the big showdown....  A Roll Off.  Mr. Peacock vs "Carol".  2 rounds, winner take all (which included bragging rights and maybe a high five from the loser...  maybe)  Each round is 20 minutes.

Ding goes the bell.  I start fast but Carol is too strong!  She overtakes me and beats me by 8 rollers!  But wait... there is a discrepancy on the score card.  I was using smaller rollers!!  How could I have been so naive!!!!  Just like in sports  I play the "no excuses, I got beat" card but just like in sports deep down I know I have a legitimate excuse!!!

So I adjust my curlers for round two.   Now its a level playing field.

Off we go,  I start slow this time but I quickly make it up.  I get a steady rhythm, I can tell I am ahead of Carol in terms of how quickly I am moving over the mannequin head.  Oh yeah, I am in the perm rolling zone right now!  I was expecting the perm police to pull me over I was going so fast!  I roll up the last of my head as time expires, I look over and Carol finishes behind me.  Surely I've won!!!

We count.......  I have 41 rods!  That's like 13 more than round 1!  

And

Carol has.....

47...

Damn!  I got beat again!  With no excuses this time other than my poor technique...  That's not very consoling....  Its like a wrestler saying "well, I guess I would have won if the other guy wasn't just flat out better than me"

Guess its time to start chasing the chicken around in the backyard...